So I’ve taken on a new lifestyle that I know will improve my health situation. Let’s face it, no, it’s time I faced it…I’m obese. I pounded on those inches since I quit smoking 4 years ago and I’m pretty sure that I would probably keep going if I wasn’t introduced to the documentary, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.” It opened my eyes and made me see how much crap I’ve been feeding my one and only body.

Last weekend I visited with the friends who introduced me to this new way of fueling my body. I juiced with them, we talked all day and I learned so much. I Two days later I owned a juicer, top of the line juicer too. I swear the universe is aligning  for me to accept this challenge. I’m not getting younger and I’m not getting healthier either. It’s time to stop the insanity.

My buddy Alex sold me his Breville, multispeed juicer and I love it. I remember I was juicing 20 years ago on Bay Street because I thought it was the cool thing to do. The prep and clean up soon diminished my need to be with the in crowd. It was a bitch. But, this new machine is smooth, quiet and super easy to clean up.

So, I know a lot of people will say that I’ve bought into yet another fad. That this Joe guy who made the documentary is now a billionaire and I’m just another sucker. But it wasn’t really Joe who inspired me. It was Phil the super obese truck driver who not only saved his life by juicing but saved his brother’s life too. You have to watch the documentary just to see the amazing transformation of Phil. That is what inspired me. I know I can do this. I quit smoking and I can quit eating garbage too.

So here is my plan, not Joe’s plan, but my plan.

First week, juice for breakfast. So far I’ve consumed three different recipes.

• Cucumber, Kale, green apples, ginger, lemon and celery (Joe’s Mean Green)
• Grapefruit, fennel, orange and basil ( Tuscan Summer)
• Carrots, apples and ginger ( Carrot Apple Ginger)

So far the Carrot Apple Ginger is my favorite.

Second week I intend to have juice for breakfast and lunch.

Third week I intend to have only juice for 15 days.

This is my plan and I am determined to succeed. As determined as I was to quit smoking. It’s time to piss or get off the pot (one of my father’s most common phrases, so appropriate)

I’m so very tired of being fat, unable to move like I used to, I hate the triple chins I have and I most of all hate that I don’t pamper myself or primp and preen anymore. I used to be quite a looker you know. Hell I used to be a size 7.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not just about vanity. I’ll admit with no shame that vanity does play a good role because I’ve not even had one single date in 4 years. And don’t hand me that old line that it’s the inside that counts. My insides are fabulous and I still haven’t had a freeking romp in four years. Now is the time when I finally admit that I’ve really let myself go. And I feel terrible. I’m always tired, I’m huffing and puffing despite not smoking , little things like getting up from the floor is a huge production with grunts and groans, I sleep with a CPAP machine which is probably one more reason I haven’t dated. Who wants to sleep next to Darth Vader! Nope, that’s not how I want to live.

So wish me luck and help support me while I fight to regain my health. I’m certain that I will be able to do a lot more acitivities in about 6 months and then the pounds are really going to start coming off. In the meantime, juice is my new addiction and not an addiction that will harm me. It’s a glass full of micronutrients…how can that be bad for you?