I’m feeling marvelous. I’m taking care of myself. I’m doing the girly thing again (hair, makeup, beauty nights). I’m really aware of how far I pushed the envelope in terms of my health. I’m not beating myself up for it, I’m fixing what was broken, putting into place what was missing and getting this issue handled. To some this may look like I’m dieting, fixing my appearance with makeup, jewelry and high heels, exercising to stay slim and trim. But it goes much deeper than that.
I can see a direct correlation to the way the world has occurred to me in the past few years. I kept seeming to run into walls, things fell apart when they should have stayed cohesive, life was beginning to seem very difficult and always an uphill battle. Well, I can tell you that not only does excess weight wear you down and stop you from doing physical things but being kept from achieving your goals, hopes and dreams because you don’t and can’t move like you used to can be an unbearable weight on your self-confidence and stamina. And that is where I was before I took my health into my hands. Each pound I shed I uncover a part of me I lost in the process of gaining all this fat and useless weight. And I am loving what I am uncovering. I can be a pretty bold bitch when I allow myself to be. I have always been funny but I am discovering a softer more serious side to myself that has been hidden under some pretty bulligerent (yes I know it’s a typo but I think it should be spelled that way, look at my bold self now!) blubber. I’m slowly getting back in touch with my compassion but I think it might still be pinned under some colossal thighs. I’ll work it out, I’m positive of that.
Oh, just adding this because it’s a big point I want to make. Many people subscribe to the theory that obesity is directly attached to emotions. That everyone who over eats does it to distract them from emotions they don’t want to feel. I can with 100% confidence tell you that this is not a theory I buy. I ate because I love food and did not control myself. I ate because I quit smoking almost four years ago and developed a habit of putting things into my mouth all day long. I was not depressed, angry or upset when I ate. I ate because I love food and the more time passed from not smoking the better food tasted! I’m telling you, for me, it’s all about self control and discipline. Just behave yourself and you’ll be just fine. Misbehave and you spend time in the fat naughty chair or on a few treadmills for sure!
And it manifests itself in a pretty cute little body too……if I do say so myself…and I do. tee hee
WEEK FOUR BITCHES!!