I am often perplexed by how busy my life gets at times. And even more baffled when I find myself doing absolutely nothing for days. It’s a case of feast or famine with me usually and I’d like to find healthy ways to balance out my life. It’s not easily done when you have three people living inside you. Don’t get it twisted, I mean the zodiac personalities that reside in this shell. I was born June 21st so I am Gemini and Cancer. A set of twins and a crab can sometimes be a little daunting to deal with. I imagine that has something to do with the feast (twins) or the famine (crab inside her shell) aspects of Justy. But I know I am more than my zodiac. In Chinese zodiac I am a rabbit. So you can clearly see how sometimes I am going at 100 miles per hour and the next minute hunkered down inside my shell just sleeping. That is how my world is balanced.  With such opposing signs I wonder if I should even dream of having an even keel lifestyle.

I began gardening back in April and it seems to have consumed my every spare moment. I keep telling myself that I need to divide my time between garden and studio. I shouldn’t be spending so much time at home, being all domestic and redesigning my living spaces. Then I remind myself that I shouldn’t “should” myself and continue on my contented merry Suzy Homemaker way.

Today I am asking myself, am I avoiding the studio or is this cycle of being home bound something natural. Is this a natural cycle of renewal and domestic appreciation?  I’m growing suspicious of myself.

I work during the day, in an office with very little creative outlet. When I go home at night I am instantly drawn to my balcony full of greenery and flowers and then to the rooftop to tend to my vegetables. I’m not a very good gardener. I think I ate four salads from my garden last year. Things just didn’t grow as well as I expected. I learn more every year. Last night I gave my mother two new radishes from my garden. I grown radishes mainly because I know my mother loves them. I ate a strawberry from my garden and chatted with a neighbor who was planting flowers with his little dog Winston.  Back to my apartment to cook dinner and muck about cleaning here and there. This past weekend I actually spent the entire time cleaning my apartment and sorting my spare room where everything art related gets dumped. I still have much to do there.

What is keeping me so anchored to my apartment? How can I balance me (and all my personalities), my job and my art. I haven’t painted since March. I’m a little suspicious of me.

How do you find balance?